So You Can Cry.

I'm slowly losing it, day by day. And I can't help but watch it slip through my fingers knowing that maybe, it can be gone forever. As I sit here and put on a smile like everything is okay, my eyes fill with tears as I look at my surroundings and inside, my heart just cries.

I want everything to be okay. My mouth may say the words, but my brain is nowhere near sane. My heart hurts everyday and there's no way possible that the aching can go away. I'm tired of the mood swings, the tears, the isolation. I'm tired of not being okay. I'm tired of losing myself.

They say that you have to take this depression and make it a part of you. I know its a part of me. I know that I can change it, but I'm struggling. Its extremely hard to just turn around and have everything just leave from my mind. Everything as in all this sadness that fills me up. I'm falling apart everyday and I'm breaking down so much. As I grow to be more depressed, my tolerance for anything has been at its lowest. My tolerance to go thru life, is low. And what I'm fearing the most is what will happen to me when I'm beyond low?

I don't know what to do..